#154 - Dr Prity's HBAC story after a previous VBAC at the hospital

A VBAC at home, also called an HBAC

Why did Dr Prity  , a dentist , a medical professional, now a Diastasis Recti Specialist 
Vaginal Steaming Practitioner 
Postpartum Doula 
Prenatal Postnatal fitness expert , decided to have a homebirth after a prior VBAC in the hospital?

What did she know that factored in her decision, how was her experience? How did she plan her care and how did her experience differ from that at the hospital to home. 

Tune in now to hear her narrate the layers of her story!

~ Please note the decision to birth at home should always lie with the parents with complete information. Birthing at home is the most supportive of the biological process yet it is not for everyone. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

I don't know if you have seen the picture. There is one Humboldt picture that I have uh put it up on my social media where my daughter was there to hold my hand while I had contractions also. She's also moving her hand on my head because she could see that Mama is in pain. And uh that gave such an oxytocin release for me that my daughter is there and she's doing that for me. She understands that I'm going through pain and uh she was not getting disturbed or you know, she didn't feel that fear that oh mama otherwise, you know, when the mama starts to cry or you know, shout, the the child gets disturbed. She still had that you know gentleness on her face, that smile, and uh she kept moving her hand on my head. My husband was there to hold my and the doula was there.

SPEAKER_03 0:55

Welcome to the Bird Agree Podcast. The Fun. The Bird sucks. This is a space where women reclaim bird on their own tongues. The deep ancient knowing means from America. We don't bird, womanhood, breastfeeding, parenting, and the commodity of choosing differently. Choosing of room, become a live more rooted. Disintegrating the politics of blood. One story at a time. A wee bank at home, also called an H bank.

SPEAKER_04 1:45

Home birth after Caesare. Why did this dentist, a medical professional, now a diastasis rectile specialist, vaginal steaming practitioner, postpartum doula, prenatal, postnatal fitness expert, preti decide to have a home birth after already experiencing a wee back in the hospital? What did she know that factored in her decision? How was her experience? How did she plan her care? And how did her experience differ from that at the hospital to what it was at home? Please note that the decision to birth at home should always lie with the parents with complete information. Birthing at home is the most supportive of the biological process, yet it is not for everyone. So if you are somebody who's looking at this episode to understand what's the difference between a hospital way back and at home and how you can build that support team around it, ask yourself the right questions. And this episode is definitely going to help you to make informed decisions regarding that. Let's dive into it. Hi Preeti, welcome to the Birthtagni podcast. It's been a year. We wanted to have you last year, but we are finally sitting together talking about your home birth, your decision to birth at home after a hospital we back. So, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:11

Thank you so much, Divya, for having me here. And uh yeah, maybe last year we couldn't connect. I was uh into my postpartum and maybe you were on your journey for your uh pregnancy, so somehow we couldn't connect. But I'm just glad that yeah, we are here and talking about RV bags.

SPEAKER_04 3:31

Together, yeah. Right before we sat down to record, um, we were discussing our uh birth stories, and uh we were like, so many things are similar in this, and uh uh the timeline, the way things happened, all of the all of that is so similar.

SPEAKER_00 3:46

And I was like, let's hit record, let's just the doula that we wanted.

SPEAKER_04 3:51

Yes, and the doula we wanted is the same. So yeah, but before we go to the depth of the story, um Preeti, you had your V-bag in the hospital with an epidural, and then you decided to birth at home. So for the listeners listening, and I often get this question also you know, how do we, you know, unmedicated birth at home and how do I get pain relief at home? Uh the hospital births are better, but here you are, you had your wee back in the hospital, and then you were like, No, I'm gonna be at home and I'm gonna take the labor at home. So, how did that experience sort of wade in to your decision to birth at home?

SPEAKER_00 4:32

Since I conceived my first one, that was almost eight, nine years ago, it was my sole desire that I want to have a home. So, when we conceived the first time, I expressed my desire to my husband. Both of us have a medical background, and uh, of course, he totally refused that you're crazy, you're bringing all these Western ideas here. And I was like, our ancestors have worked like this, so why can't I? But yeah, he was like, No, we're not doing this, and then uh I think Lina was here in uh Mumbai and uh she was still doing homewards, and which is where the idea came in that you know I would experience this, it didn't happen then. Then uh the wee back that we had uh for the second birth, we have had a loss, so there was this fear that you know, oh, we've had a loss with the first child, so let's not take uh a risk of doing it in the house. So again, then we couldn't plan it in the house, and this time I said to myself, This is going to be the last pregnancy and the birth that I'm going to experience, so I might as well do it this time. So it was like my sole desire that I want to do it in the house, but until 15 days ago, I hadn't told this to my gynecologist nor my doula and not my husband that I want a home birth. But in my mind, in my head, I was sure that I want this, I was preparing myself mentally that I want this, but uh there were some family situations that my yeah, my husband was uh kind of involved in, so I couldn't convey it to him. And uh my due date was 29th of Jan and the 31st December, we kind of you know went for a party and I was doing kryoke and dancing, and first morning I'm already feeling something, and I was like, Oh my god, am I already feeling contractions? At least now I have to tell him that I want a home birth. So uh I told him he's like, Where is this coming from all of a sudden when you are already feeling the contractions? And he's talking to the gynecologist that uh do you know about this? He's like, No, even I don't know. So he was like, We are not doing this for sure. And uh he left the house, but I dropped him the gynacologist's number and the doula's number while he was out, he spoke to both of them and uh they were like we we can do this. So then when he came back home, he was like okay with the idea that yeah, we can do this, and uh yeah, there was one thing kind of you know that really pushed him. I told him that if you kind of don't allow me to do this the way I wanted, the homework, we might have to plan another baby just for me to experience this, and that was like, no, we are not having another baby, whatever you want to do it, we are doing it in this world, so yeah, that is what got him also on the same page that I wanted to be, and uh both of us have experienced hospital birth the last time. The V back that we had, uh, since it was pandemic, he was uh the kind of doula for me, and uh the whole of my pregnancy, then I kept telling him I want a V back, I want a V back. So there were moments that I wanted to give up, and uh, he was like, make sure that you have a V back because the whole pregnancy told me that oh I want I want this. So uh yeah, he made sure that uh I had a V back. But in hospital, like you know, you have nurses coming in for some consent after the birth, also you have nurses coming in because they have their shift ending, so they would come and wake you up and the baby at 5 o'clock. There are things that you don't want, like you know, I want a delayed card clamping, that didn't happen, and uh the whole of hospital environment, there are so many nurses there over your head, there's a pediatrician there, and uh I didn't want so much of disturbances, and uh with the older one also, I my daughter was um three years, two months when I had this baby, and I didn't want her to be alone in the house. I knew that I wanted my husband to be with me, but at the same time, I didn't want to leave my daughter anywhere. I hadn't slept without her even for a night, so uh I didn't want to uh do that to her and to myself. I wanted her to be with me, so that was also one reason that I wanted to experience this. And uh yeah, we prepared ourselves for uh a home birth. We got the birth pool, and uh just like the Friday night we we got our birth pool delivered, and Sunday morning my water bag bro that was on uh 12th of Jan. I was 37 weeks and two days then, so it was much earlier than the my due date. And uh it was around uh quarter to seven in the morning that my water bag burst, and I could immediately start feeling some contractions. So my husband started feeling the water. He already spoke to the gynaecologist, and uh he spoke to the doula. The gynacologist kind of lived barely two minutes away from my house, so uh she was there in another half an hour, and uh yeah, we were filling the pool, but I was already feeling the contractions, they were uh almost uh say five minutes apart, so it was quite intense even when it started. But then I was managing on my own uh somehow in that rented apartment. I had rods just next to my bed. I had some rods in the washroom also, so I was just holding that and swaying my hips and uh been another one hour, the birth pool was ready. I was already in the pool because the contractions were quite closer and quite intense, and in just three hours, the baby was out like 10-10, the baby was there.

SPEAKER_04 11:12

Wow, that's amazing!

SPEAKER_00 11:14

I felt oh my god, I just got lucky to have this short labor. While the previous labor they went on for quite long. The first one, when I started with the labor with my first baby, it was my first one, so uh I was kind of maybe not prepared about uh things around labor and birth. So uh just when the contraction started, I was already at the hospital, and doctor told me you're just one centimeter uh dilated, and uh yeah, it will take some time. The labor wasn't going ahead, so they induced me. Contractions kept coming in, but uh yeah, I wasn't dilating enough, even after 12 hours. Uh there wasn't much difference, but the contractions that came in that were like uh very intense, and I was not able to take that, and that is when I said I'm okay to go for a C-section because I couldn't take that pain. The same pattern I saw during the second labor, also that uh when I went to the hospital, the doctor told me you're one and a half centimeter dilated, and it kind of reminded me immediately of my first labor. Same intense uh contractions and just one and a half centimeter dilated, and that kind of broke me down that oh my god, I'm just there. And uh after a couple of hours, also when the doctor checked me, I was still the same, so um, I started making connection to the first labor that even in the first labor it was like this, maybe again this time I will have to go for a C-section because I was just not able to take the pain then. So, from that of not being able to take the pain, to be bold enough to say that I am okay to do that in the house without any medical assistance, it was a huge shift for me.

SPEAKER_04 13:12

Yeah, I do want to ask Piti um what shifted that and even before. So now this is really interesting that your husband got to know about the home birth thing really towards the end and you tricked him into it, which is I mean, which is an amazing story in itself. Uh, for the listeners, a lot of gynecologists do not support home birth. So, when you when your gynecologist was okay with the home birth, if you could tell the listeners who this gynecologist is, if somebody in Mumbai wants to have a home birth and if she supports home birth now, and you know, people can reach out to her. And with the uh second birth, where you had a way back where all of this was really intense at the beginning, you didn't mention to me uh that you did take epidural at that point in time. So, from that to like you were already saying, the shift to being at home. What changed for you?

SPEAKER_00 14:11

Like, so my gynecologist was Dr. Manjiri Kavre. She is based in Khar and she runs Beams Hospital. She does quite a lot of home births, but she hadn't done we back home birth before. So she was not up for a wee back home birth. And uh yeah, when I kind of in a way expressed my desire to do that in my seventh or the eighth month, and uh she was telling me, yeah, it's not a safe thing, and uh she was trying to tell me a story of loss, but in my head I knew that this is nowhere connected, and uh I've already had a V back. I knew that you know I had to see the scar thickness, what it is, in around the 32nd, 34th week, and that would decide that you know if I am a good candidate for a V back homework. So yeah, in my head I wasn't taking anything seriously, whatever she was saying, because apparently I was preparing myself for it, which I will come to that. Maidula also hadn't done V back homework. This was her first V back homework. So three people were around me: my doula, my gynecologist, my husband, and if the medical system is trying to put in fear in your head, of course you wouldn't go for it. Like during my first V back, also I had some mother Gynac whom I was going uh to, and uh most of my friends had gone to her and had a natural birth. And uh the first time when I had uh been to her when I was around six, seven weeks pregnant, then with my second uh pregnancy, I had expressed that I want the V back. So she's like, Yeah, yeah, this is too soon. In the second trimester, I'm reminded again. She told me this is too soon. When I was getting into my my third trimester around around 28-29 weeks, she's telling me we will start to plan around 38-39 weeks, and I said, What did you say? She's like, Yeah, we will plan around 38-39 weeks. I said, No way, I'm not doing that. So she called my husband. She's trying to instill fear from the loss that we have had a loss, you know. Why you want to take a chance with this baby? This is a precious baby. Of course, it is a precious baby. So she's telling me nobody's going to give you a medal for having a normal birth, or nobody's going to give me a medal for giving you a normal birth. So don't risk yourself and the baby. And uh, of course, my husband got with that fear that let's not take a chance. We have already had a loss, or I said, No way, like I'm not getting bothered by what she said. So in my 33rd week, I changed my gynecologist and uh I knew Dr. Manjiri, I had my birth with Dr. Manjiri then, and I knew that she does V back, so which is when I reached out to her and I changed my gynect then. And uh again this time when I expressed my desire to have a V back home birth, the doctor was trying to instill fear in me with that story, which was no way connected. But uh yeah, for me, like this third pregnancy, I was uh so much within myself, there were barely any medication that I did, barely any ultrasound, just three ultrasound the whole pregnancy. I barely did any checkups with her. I would just kind of go once in two months for her to know that I'm going to birth with her. But uh maybe by the third one, I felt like a pro and uh that I know all of it, and which is why I I didn't go. I was also wanting to listen to my body, that what my body is telling me, and uh I want to go by that and not what the gynecologist is telling me. And uh this is something that I would say our body is very wise, it tells us each and everything that it needs, even the baby would tell us what it needs, and we just have to go by that rather than trying to shut down our ears to our own instincts and our body and our baby and try to listen to other people around us. So, yeah, this time I went by what my body, my instincts, and my baby was telling me. So that itself was a huge shift. Start beginning from the pregnancy. And uh when it comes to preparing myself, I reached out to one of my mentors. Like I've done a couple of courses around postpartum, postpartum doula, and rituals around postpartum. So uh during my pregnancy, I just reached out to one of my mentors, and uh I was uh having a conversation with her on Zoom, and uh she just asked me that what is it that you fear, and you know she was trying to help me rethink about what is it that uh brings in fear. What do you see yourself as when you're birthing this time? If you would like to sketch or paint that, or just kind of picture that. And when she was asking me, my eyes were closed and I could see a lioness, and uh she had asked me to drew that or paint that I didn't do that, but that visual I had even when I was birthing that you know when I would close my eyes, I would just see that picture that how strong the lioness is, and uh that is what kind of made me fierce and fearless for that birth that I can do it by myself, I'm prepared for this.

SPEAKER_04 20:15

Did you have a background on like knowing that women were having a home birth and that's a possibility for you? And did that kind of also help you um gain that confidence from the stories of other women who've had home births, uh, that it's possible for you? Because sometimes subconsciously, even that works out for us.

SPEAKER_00 20:37

So since the the second pregnancy, I had this thing that I, you know, the desire of having a V back, so I was part of uh V Back support groups on Facebook, and uh this was not in India but outside India, which was a global group, and there were so many of them who were doing V back home birth, so I knew that this was a possibility. I have uh been in touch with a lot of midwives, read a lot of books by midwives, I have read uh uh been in touch with Red Miller, who is also a midwife now based in Singapore, but she used to run the birth center in uh South India. So I knew that this is possible. But just the day before I birthed, I birthed on Sunday morning, Saturday afternoon, I was talking to my aunt, my Masy, and uh she told me that my nanny, my grandmother, she has delivered one of my mama, my uncle in the house. And I never knew that before, or nobody ever spoke about homework before, and uh that gave me such a kind of a strong sense of connection that one of my Ancestors have done this, if she can do it, I can do it too. And uh yeah, that made such a huge difference for me just knowing that my nanny has done this, so yeah.

SPEAKER_04 22:16

Yeah, so in terms of the experience, and we'd like to know the experience of labor in detail of your home birth, in terms of the experience of how you felt in your body, how was that different from the hospital weed back and at home, other than the fact that the time with your second weed back was so short. I mean, it was a short labor, and that happens because majorly the when the physiology is so well supported, the body does its job. I mean, there's no hindrance to it, and which is why hospitals, when there are too many, like you've already hinted on that, too many people coming in and going, but then there's a feeling that you have after giving birth that this this feels so different than my first uh the the first we back. So, how did that feel to you?

SPEAKER_00 23:11

So while I was preparing myself for this homework, I wasn't sure how would I react or how would other people react if I'm kind of you know in the middle of the birth or labor and I'm shouting because we are so not used to listening to our own self, kind of screaming, and uh, which is what I had spoken about with my uh doula. So I I spoke about this with Reba and uh she told me just make yourself comfortable with it, and uh I was actually practicing making sounds and being comfortable with my own self listening to it, and then when I was in labor, it didn't matter that if anybody around is listening because I made myself comfortable with my own voice that I am okay listening to this, and uh it doesn't matter if people around can listen to it or not, or if they are commenting on it or not. So yeah, this was also a small practice which I did, and uh I kind of knew the things that I was uncomfortable with, which I kind of gradually worked on that yeah, this is what makes me uncomfortable, I'm going to work on this.

SPEAKER_04 24:36

For example, in terms of things that made you uncomfortable, and you knew that these are the things that make you other than the moaning and the voice. Also, I wanted to ask you, Preeti, in the hospital, were you able to moan and roar to that degree? No, you but you wanted to. So, somewhere within yourself, you knew that you wanted to express, but you couldn't in the hospital.

SPEAKER_00 24:58

Yeah, yeah. And also, like I mentioned, uh that was uh the second phase of COVID that was still going on. So during that hospital reback, the nurses would come to the test karna hai, you know, you need to do this, you need to eat this, you need to wear this, blood test. What also made me uncomfortable that I don't want anybody making such sound around me. So when my husband was kind of filling the water a pool, we had uh one nurse come from the hospital because our hospital was very close by, then the nurse came to help in, and again she was creating some kind of noise. I said, I don't want her around me. So yeah, we just let her out. My cook came in in the morning. I said, It's okay if the food is not there for today. Everybody just move out. I don't want anybody in the house. Other things that made me uncomfortable where was uh the medication, like the unnecessary medication, the unnecessary test that you know the guy next keep telling you, of course, they think it is for our safety. Like one of the tests was that glucose test where you have to drink so much of uh glucone and then go. I said no. Last time it made me so uncomfortable, I'm not doing it this time. Again, medication. Last time I had, and you know, there was constipation issues. I said I don't need it this time, only when my hemoglobin drops down, I will start with it.

SPEAKER_04 26:38

No preventive care. Only if you need it.

SPEAKER_00 26:42

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 26:42

Yeah, you were very well informed this time around about the fact that you do not need all these things in a healthy woman, and a mother and a couple can make those choices for themselves. What all care do they need? It doesn't have to go by a rule book, including the ultrasounds, like you said, you decided you just wanted three, and same for the tests. Um, I did not do the trisomy down syndrome test, and um the reason was I wanted to keep this baby, no matter what, and then there was no point doing this test to get to know something which is also not 100% accurate. There are cases where you get to know that the baby has Down syndrome, but that test is inaccurate, and the baby turns out to be fine, and there have been cases where that test did not figure out that there was something wrong with the baby, and the baby had something wrong with it. So when it's eventually at the destiny, um, that's sort of a choice parents have, and when and it is only when they know, and you are in this field, Preeti, you take care of uh postpartum women, you are into diastasis rectile healing, you help women with postpartum sitz baths, and you cater to women in that genre, so you also belong to the birth world, that spectrum of the birth world. So that that that that amps up I mean, it's it's beautiful to have that strength of knowledge and how that drives you into where you want to be. And like you said, um you wanted nobody this time around, like not even the cook, not even the nurse. Every noise disturbed you. Um and this time around, did you feel a lot more free? What did the experience tell you after? Yeah, if you could explain.

SPEAKER_00 28:48

So I don't know if you have seen the picture. There's one Humbad picture that I have uh put it up on my social media where my daughter was there to hold my hand while I had contractions, also. She's also moving her hand on my head because she could see that my is in pain. And um that gave such an oxytocin release for me that my daughter is there and she's doing that for me. She understands that I'm going through pain, and uh she was not getting disturbed, or you know, she didn't feel that fear that oh mama, otherwise, you know, when the mama starts to cry or you know, shout, the the child gets disturbed. She still had that you know gentleness on her face, that smile, and uh she kept moving her hand on my head. My husband was there to hold my hand, the doula was there. So the experience was so different, I cannot tell you. Of course, there were times during the labor that I was crying that you know, just give me a painkiller. And um I also knew that you know, this time Madula told me that just when you think that I do I cannot do this, and um uh I cannot take this anymore, that is kind of the transition, and you're very close to the bird. So while I was saying just give me a painkiller, I knew I was very close to uh the bird, and uh uh I was just saying before we started recording that I had my uh herb blend in the birthing pool also, so the color had changed uh the water colour, otherwise, it would have been like you know, transparent, and you could actually see what is there inside. But this was like a little brown tinge because the herb blend I boiled, and you know, I was adding that herb blend to uh the birth pool. My baby was already out, and nobody could see, and I'm telling them that the baby is out, and they're like, Oh, we cannot so I held the baby, and I could feel uh just during the last contraction that I could feel the baby's head, and maybe the next contraction the baby is going to be out, and uh, it was just me who could feel that. I told the guy naked my husband that the baby's already out, can you just bring the baby? And uh that was one surreal moment. My husband has seen three different births and seen me go through three different births, and he was in tears seeing this experience, and uh I've never seen him crying because that birth itself felt so magical. Our daughter being next to us, and I'm still in the pool, I'm just holding my baby. There is no rush to cut the cord, and just for the next 30-35 minutes, I was still in the pool holding the baby. My daughter kept looking at the baby, my husband was there all four of us together, and nobody is there to disturb us or to rush us with things, or no doctor is there to check the baby immediately. Like for the hospital birth uh V back, also I didn't want the doctor to immediately take the baby from me and you know have the baby under that uh uh bright yellow light to check the baby, but then I was just so elated. The two things that I have my baby back and I had a V back, so nothing mattered more to me then. But yes, there was these things that I didn't want, but I had to let go of these things that I wanted the baby to be there with me for the first uh hour or a couple of hours, and uh yeah, that didn't happen then, but yeah, at this time, and all through the labor, I was just kind of uh visualizing, and even before when I was doing my meditation, I was visualizing the birth. This was one thing that I was visualizing that after the birth, all four of us are sleeping on the same bed, and uh, during the labor, also I kept telling that you know, I just want all of all four of us to sleep together, and uh I delivered 1010 by 12:30, all four of us were on the bed sleeping, taking our nap together. So after almost 45 minutes to an hour, I got myself outside the pool. The doctor checked me, and she was willing to give uh a suture, but uh I said I don't want it. I haven't seen myself down also, but I trust my body for healing it, and I trust my postpartum hub blend that I have that I'm going to do my six path and steaming with that, and I don't need a stitch. So she said it's okay. I went in for my first bath with that same hub blend, and my husband cut the cord then, and that is when they weighed the baby. We didn't give the baby a bath, we just wrapped the baby, and the baby was there next to us. It was after the birth that I finally took a painkiller, and uh yeah, we did the breast crawl first. The baby latch, and then I went in for the bath, and then yeah, we slept. So, like the house was empty, nobody was there after two hours. We just had uh house help and um we hadn't told any of our family members that we are doing uh homework this time. Just when the baby was delivered, we informed both sides of the family that the baby is here, but don't come immediately, give us a couple of hours. This is also what I wanted this time that I don't want any side of the family members to be there, you know, like waiting in anticipation that oh, what is it? Like during the hospital, both the times there were so many family members sitting outside, and I said I don't want any family members sitting outside, also waiting in anticipation, kitta time hog, kya children. So uh yeah, we didn't have any visitors for the next four or five hours. It was in the early evening that we started having the immediate family. This time we didn't want any extended family or friends to come home to see me or the baby, so that is exactly how it went this time.

SPEAKER_04 35:37

I was going to ask that you must have hardly had a tear down there and it must have healed very well. And did you have a stitch the second time around when you had your first reback? And how did that healing feel?

SPEAKER_00 35:54

So because I had uh epidural then, I was not able to actually feel anything, so I didn't know when to push and how to push. So they had to use a force, and uh yes, there was a tear from that because the baby's head was stuck there for almost uh say 40 minutes then and uh while I was in the hospital, uh what they gave me was uh Bitadin to use for the since bath, and uh coming back home I was not able to sit well, and I had to have that doughnut pillow to sit on, and uh this time I didn't need any of it.

SPEAKER_04 36:46

And it must have healed within a week or so uh compared to the last time.

SPEAKER_00 36:52

Even earlier, I would say not even that.

SPEAKER_04 36:56

Wow, fantastic.

SPEAKER_00 36:57

Just to add, this time uh we didn't have any help for my daughter this time. Even after the birth, we just have one uh house help who would be there during the day, and she would leave by evening, and there was this one hour where uh the help would go and uh my husband would come an hour later. So I had to do things with my daughter also. She was three years and I still had to pick her up because we were alone, nobody else was there, and uh that brought in prolapse.

SPEAKER_04 37:37

And this is the first we back, or w was it this time around? Second way back. This time you had to hold a three-year-old.

SPEAKER_00 37:45

No tear or anything, and I was recovering so well, but yeah, just because I was holding her and lifting her, that led to uh prolapse, and every time I would sit, sitting also would be very uncomfortable because the part that was pushed down that was kind of rubbing to the surface down, and that made me sitting uncomfortable. But uh yeah, and sometimes because I was still doing my sits path and my steaming that helped to bring that up.

SPEAKER_04 38:20

Yeah, that went back up with your herbal healing and with your sits path and uh steaming, uni steaming.

SPEAKER_00 38:26

No issues with pooping that you know, or I feared pooping the first time after my C-section, but uh yeah, this time around there was no fear.

SPEAKER_04 38:37

Yeah, and uh this time around did you give birth within like what was the week? You were at 40th week.

SPEAKER_00 38:46

This time I was 37 weeks, two days, and uh the first one was 41 weeks, two days, the second one was uh just one day uh prior to my due date, and this time somehow I was feeling that the baby is going to not wait until that long, the baby is going to come sooner, so I was mentally kind of prepared for the baby to come sooner this time.

SPEAKER_04 39:14

Yeah, and that's how exactly it happened. Yeah, and you both are doctors, like you said. You are you are a dentist, you by by your degree, yeah. And when I read about home births in the newspaper, and because I've apprenticed with a home birth midwife, I've seen births, it would infuriate me that we talk about home births as reckless, as not well thought of, as um something that people are doing because they are either avoiding money or you know, there are all sorts of allegations that are out there. I would say yes, some people are not well informed and they do not take everything into consideration when they go for a home birth, there's definitely a there's definitely that. Um I would not say that that doesn't exist, but it's still a very small number. Uh instead of being curious, there are a lot of allegations put at home births. Um, but you are from the medical fraternity and you went for a home birth. If if somebody asked you that question, how would you answer that?

SPEAKER_00 40:23

But say before being a medical professional, I'm a woman, and there are some desires that I have for myself as a woman. For me, I always felt like I couldn't experience birth in a real sense. I really wanted to do that to actually feel the baby come out of the birth canal, and uh that was something that I want to feel since the first birth, but first time I couldn't feel the second time because of the PD Urela. So I actually couldn't feel that yes, the baby came out through the birth canal, but I couldn't feel that, and uh which is what I wanted to experience for myself, so and I would say there are everything that I've done in my life that has always been against the medical professional. So uh I'm also a vaginal steaming practitioner, and uh after the loss I had uh cystin endometriosis, and that gave me terrible mid-cycle pain that I had just to kind of you know shut down my work for those one or two days and uh take medicine every six hours and just see. Even then the doctors told me that you will have to start with either birth control or have a baby again, and uh I said I don't want to do this to myself having birth control pills. Or uh the other guy told me that you will have to have a laparoscopy and uh so even then I can of went against the medical advice that the doctors were telling me to do, and I believed in myself and the practices that I was doing, and that is what helped me get rid of the cyst endometriosis. Naturally, I conceived naturally where the guy next told me that he will have to undergo a laparoscopy, so my mind doesn't work like a medical professional, so yeah, I'm way too different when it comes to this, like being a medical uh professional. The first thing that that they would do is to reach out to allopathy. I'm not that kind of a person, I believe in natural practices and uh listening to your body and how emotions kind of run your body, or how emotions kind of bring in symptoms that you see, and that is how I have always worked.

SPEAKER_04 43:13

And that weighed in in your favor. So you do believe, and if you have seen the result of that, there is a place, there's a space for a human body to function, which is beyond the medical uh preventive care. I mean, we can take care of ourselves with our natural methods, and then if you really need help of the medical care, they're always there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:35

So even with diastases, you know, there are so many clients who come to me and they tell me that my doctor has advised me a surgery, and that is what I tell them. There are exercises. If exercises I try, if that doesn't work, option of surgery is always there, or even for you know any kind of men's related issues, but the gynaecologist is telling you those medical advice. Or treatments are always there, but just give natural uh healing modalities a try first and then reach out to those options.

SPEAKER_04 44:10

And you must have seen amazing results with those first when they are done diligently and with faith.

SPEAKER_00 44:16

Yeah, yeah. My diastes is clients that never needed their surgery ever.

SPEAKER_04 44:21

Yeah, wonderful, wonderful. Um, thank you so much, Dr. Preeti, uh, for sharing your homework story with us, for sharing the experience of having given birth in a hospital, and then the home and the difference between and the aspect of uh and for all the listeners who've already heard a lot of episodes on the podcast would know that the aspect of privacy, the aspect of how birth works and how your hormones function, it needs a sense of safety, it's a sensual process, and that does not happen when you're disturbed so much in the hospital. And when you described your experience of not wanting anybody, that was a testament to the fact that your body does not need anybody at that time, and that works in our favor.

SPEAKER_00 45:07

Let me add that the postpartum recovery is way different. Yes. Like with my C-section, I had certain kind of pain that uh that came in after a week, and I had to leave my baby in the house, go get an ultrasound done to see if there was anything, and uh uh so that was horrible. I had to take antibiotics and painkillers for almost 15 days because that the pain refused to go. And this time around I barely took uh antibiotics and painkillers for just three days. Antibiotics I took just to be on the safer side because a doctor told me to take at least for three days, and that is how I took it for three days, and then I stopped because I knew that there was nothing that was used around me that would, you know, kind of force me to take an antibiotic. So me moving around doing things way different, and even emotionally, also like the second time when I was coming back home with the baby, I had this certain kind of rage in me that maybe I might harm the baby. I was telling my husband then after the V back, and uh this time emotionally I was so much better. So, yeah, postpartum recovery, your breastfeeding journey is way different when there are no interventions.

SPEAKER_04 46:32

I resonate with this so much. So when you speak about the rage, even the second time around, I understand that even the second time around the experience was so disconnected, you felt that disconnect in the postpartum, and that's what you did not feel. It came full circle for you. Like the entire the entire cycle of hormones were able to function the way they should. So the bliss of postpartum was there, which we often talk about. But we But because women are not experiencing that, we have a lot of anxiety we see, and then we question that anxiety is normal postpartum, and women in the past overglorified motherhood. But you do feel that sort of a love for the baby. It definitely gets nurtured with time, but there is that connect that gets lost when the birth experience is not good enough. Uh, before you go, I do want you to share about the postpartum healing modalities you uh suggest to your clients for our listeners who have maybe they can have all sorts of birds, so probably um you know, for all spectrum of care postnatally, um what can they do to bring their body together as a general thumb rule postpartum?

SPEAKER_00 47:44

So postpartum rest, postpartum food, and postpartum rituals, and the support system that you need to have around you to get that rest. So, yeah, and I really focus on the postpartum rituals that our ancestors have been very wise in bringing in all these rituals. It is just that our educated mind doesn't allow us to accept that oh, they are telling us, and which is why we need to do this. But there is science backed up behind all of these rituals, whether it is to do with belly binding or to do with uh postpartum steaming, all of this is backed up by science. So, yeah, I would say don't discard the the rituals that your family or the postpartum rituals that have been there in India, and uh the first 40-day rest, the first 40 days postpartum is like a reset button that you are getting to bring in the life force that you need in the next 40 years of your life, that is how important the first 40 days of postpartum are.

SPEAKER_04 48:57

So, when is it that somebody, for example, you do uni steaming, and um I've seen a lot of gynecologists even dismiss that? And like you said, it has worked for people. Even in midwifery, my teacher used to talk about uni steaming. When is it that somebody should look up to uni steaming during their pregnancy, their childbearing years? When is it that they should think about it or reach out for uni steaming?

SPEAKER_00 49:21

So anybody can do this practice of streaming right from teenage to menopause and later with or without any kind of menstrual issues. You can do this as a ritual also around full moon, new moon, or even otherwise, also, because this practice is helping you bring out the feminine energy within yourself. In this world, there is such an imbalance of energies. We are kind of forced to run with masculine energy to finish off tasks, to be goal-oriented rather than just being nurturing, flowing, which is what is feminine energy, and which is what the imbalance is about, and which is why we have menstrual-related issues because of this imbalance in energies, and this is what steaming helps you to do, it helps you just kind of fall in love with yourself again. There are so many women, you know, when they have come for a trial session and when they've heard about this, like for the first time, they're like, What is this? like and uh when they've stepped out of the room, and you know, when I see their face, they are like, Oh my god, what was this and why haven't I experienced this before? That is the kind of shift that I've seen, you know, with them. Women start feeling beautiful without doing anything for their face. I fell in love with saris after this practice because saris is also to do with feminine energy. Uh, a small shift that I also saw in myself uh while I started with this practice again, that uh I loved wearing shoes like the closed ones, and uh just recently, you know, I started regularly bringing up this practice for myself, and now I I feel that I want to wear more of those feminine like chapals and kolapuris kind of things rather than something which is kind of trapping my shoe uh foot inside. So so many women who have experienced this and so many different experiences that I've had in all these years, and beautiful shifts that happen. So, irrespective of whether you have any kind of menstrual related issue or no, you can still practice it. But you cannot do this when you are pregnant, you can do it only after 36 weeks of pregnancy to bring in labor naturally, and of course, postpartum, irrespective of whether you've had a normal birth or a C-section, you can still do this practice.

SPEAKER_04 51:55

Thank you so much for sharing all the aspects of postpartum healing and for um bringing in the aspect of having a birth, the kind of birth you want. When that happens, your postpartum shifts everything. Um, in terms of healing, there's a huge difference that happens, and thank you so much for coming on board and sharing your story, Dr. Preti. I'm so grateful.

SPEAKER_00 52:17

And just one last message for each and every woman who's listening. If you are pregnant and uh if you're listening to this, I would say each and every one of us women have this Tevi Shakti or the wild energy that we all have within us. There are different sides like of a coin that we all have. There are some you know energies which kind of you know melt us down and mellow us down, but there are also these wild energies that we all have which we need for birth, and we just need to believe in ourselves that I have this energy and I am capable to do because each and every woman has experience to this. Our parents are our ancestors, everybody has experienced both normally and naturally, and I can do it too. You just have to believe in yourself and your body, and you would be able to do this. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_04 53:12

Thank you. That was such a wonderful note to end this episode on. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_03 53:22

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SPEAKER_02 54:13

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